my sisters under your porch take her home
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
