went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
