She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize