Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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