Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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