Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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