brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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