I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
