my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
