have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
that may or may not have been my penis.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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