Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
