meet me or not, i'm out of control
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
