Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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