P.S. I can't hear my feet
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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