Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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