Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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