i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
