I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You are the jesus of drinking
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize