Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
