And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
