Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Randomize
