You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
