Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
