I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
