we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
