In the future we'll all be gay
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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