Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm gonna have a badass scar
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
