Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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