You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
