Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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