Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
