Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
