The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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