What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
