Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
