i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the day after is always just damage control
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I need moral support for this bender
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
