I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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