I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
