smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
