yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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