I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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