once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
