He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
