Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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