it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
