This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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