The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
