he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
