My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
