Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
